Thank you soooo much for the warm reception in my last post, Honestly I didn’t expect it to be received like that which is why I am up at 2:47 am today making sure I finish this and push it out. I am now understanding multitasking on a whole different level now. Thanks again for ‘waiting’ this long.
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I was in the phase where I had a passworded journal on my phone that probably only ‘lamide craig knew about. I would write things like ”Oh my! He is getting interested in me oh *Insert scary cat*”
I can be creepy like that sometimes. We got chatting via whatsapp and from me asking about understanding sizing of images and him taking forever to respond to him actually reading my blog and initiating chats with me to find out how I was doing . You can understand why I will go to a journal to express my worry when someone who took a whole weekend to respond to me initially started taking one minute, although he will still argue today that it wasn’t then that he started looking at me in a different light and to him I was still ”That small photography protege” which was exactly the problem. Before you throw stones, Let me explain.
I grew up knowing that there is a 10 years age difference between my parents, so that kind of gap wasn’t entirely new to me and knowing that the gap didn’t mean that a relationship wouldn’t succeed as there are other factors that contribute to the success of a relationship but honestly all of that is book until your ‘Prospect’ is 12 years older than you are, which is not exactly something you plan in your ‘Dear God, I want to be married at 25’ prayer point.
So, I had a HUGE problem with it.
When I found out about his age, I just really wanted to know why he waited so long and after doing all my ‘findings’ which included asking him there was no hidden agenda as to why, it just hadn’t happened. One worry less, but still my mind will go on and on.
“Why is he not 30? or 27?”
“Can we just remove 2 years pere? Only 2” -___-
“Okay then, I won’t just tell people his age abi? What’s anyone’e business anyways”
I spoke to the Lord about it, I rationalized it left, right, center, up, down, side ways and every other way. But, at the end of the day, I had peace in my spirit that my mind began to get jealous.
One day in one of those my doubting moments the Lord reminded me of the time I read in Genesis of how he brought Eve to Adam and I knew that was his plan and desired it, I wasn’t supposed to be ‘looking’ for but HE was to bring me to him without my knowing what HE had in store and being single for over 3 years at the time, I sure wasn’t looking but the circumstances of how we met was confirmation enough but I won’t let it rest. Just like many of us, I wanted more ‘confirmations’
I decided to start asking my close friends those hypothetical questions we ask like it’s not you it is happening to, It usually went in the lines of “Ehen O, What do you think is the ideal age difference between couples” or “Will you marry someone 10 years+ older than you?” I can’t exactly remember the details of the responses I got but my sisters and best friends assured me that it wasn’t a big deal but I wanted more than human assurance, I needed God to confirm this peace inside me wasn’t just my feelings playing me some tricks.
I decided that away from the everyone’s opinion – good or bad – I was going to get to know him without focusing on his age and all this while he was keeping his beards and looked waaaay older then he actually was and I went to God again for like the 1 millionth time for ‘confirmation’ because the ‘old man’ was constantly in my face.
“Lord, It’s bad enough he has this grey hair, and then beards??? Please Lord, Let him decide to cut his beards without me saying anything about it”
It may sound silly but God listened and boom! One morning, He sends me a picture of himself looking 1o times younger. I almost flipped!!!! You mean you have been hiding all these handsomeness under those beards? Yepa!! I tripped some more because God was once again giving me another confirmation.
My final confirmation was my folks approval. I love them so much and their opinion matters a great deal to me, I had stopped seeing someone in the past because my mum wasn’t approving of it, although she will say “I didn’t chase him away oh” but once I sensed her disapproval, I just switched off. Call me old school but I am one of those people that firmly believes in parental approval of your future spouse especially when your parents are led my the Holy Spirit and if they disapprove and God is in it, Trust God will make it happen HIS way. Over the years I noticed my mum has come to trust my judgement or more like she has come to trust the God in me which I am grateful for. They asked all the necessary questions but when I mentioned the age part the sigh was different but I guess all the doubts – if they had any – was diffused when they met him.
ALL OF THESE HAPPENED IN THE 4 MONTHS!!!!!!!! I CAN NEVER GET OVER THAT!!! Now, Back to people that tell you that “The Age difference is not a big deal”
It. is. a. Lie.
I know God will bring you together and ALL but I now started learning that I had to work.
Next and final Episode, I will share how he proposed and how I learnt to work it.