#BecomingMrsO: Birth day Blues

Hi Everyone,

Thank you soooo much for the warm reception in my last post, Honestly I didn’t expect it to be received like that which is why I am up at 2:47 am today making sure I finish this and push it out. I am now understanding multitasking on a whole different level now. Thanks again for ‘waiting’ this long.

Enjoy! 😀

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My wedding was a day before my birthday, I turned 25 and my twin brother in this very heart warming Birthday message reminded me of exactly where I was at the time last year.

I was in the phase where I had a passworded journal on my phone that probably only ‘lamide craig knew about. I would write things like ”Oh my! He is getting interested in me oh *Insert scary cat*”

I can be creepy like that sometimes. We got chatting via whatsapp and from me asking about understanding sizing of images and him taking forever to respond to him actually reading my blog and initiating chats with me to find out how I was doing . You can understand why I will go to a journal to express my worry  when someone who took a whole weekend to respond to me initially started taking one minute, although he will still argue today that it wasn’t then that he started looking at me in a different light and to him I was still ”That small photography protege” which was exactly the problem. Before you throw stones, Let me explain.

I grew up knowing that there is a 10 years age difference between my parents, so that kind of gap wasn’t entirely new to me and knowing that the gap didn’t mean that a relationship wouldn’t succeed as there are other factors that contribute to the success of a relationship but honestly all of that is book until your ‘Prospect’ is 12 years older than you are, which is not exactly something you plan in your ‘Dear God, I want to be married at 25’ prayer point.

So, I had a HUGE problem with it.

When I found out about his age, I just really wanted to know why he waited so long and after doing all my ‘findings’ which included asking him there was no hidden agenda as to why, it just hadn’t happened. One worry less, but still my mind will go on and on.

“Why is he not 30? or 27?”

“Can we just remove 2 years pere? Only 2” -___-

“Okay then, I won’t just tell people his age abi? What’s anyone’e business anyways”

I spoke to the Lord about it, I rationalized it left, right, center, up, down, side ways and every other way. But, at the end of the day, I had peace in my spirit that my mind began to get jealous.

One day in one of those my doubting moments the Lord reminded me of the time I read in Genesis of how he brought Eve to Adam and I knew that was his plan and desired it, I wasn’t supposed to be ‘looking’ for but HE was to bring me to him without my knowing what HE had in store and being single for over 3 years at the time, I sure wasn’t looking but the circumstances of how we met was confirmation enough but I won’t let it rest. Just like many of us, I wanted more ‘confirmations’

I decided to start asking my close friends those hypothetical questions we ask like it’s not you it is happening to, It usually went in the lines of “Ehen O, What do you think is the ideal age difference between couples” or “Will you marry someone 10 years+ older than you?” I can’t exactly remember the details of the responses I got but my sisters and best friends assured me that it wasn’t a big deal but I wanted  more than human assurance, I needed God to confirm this peace inside me wasn’t just my feelings playing me some tricks.

I decided that away from the everyone’s opinion – good or bad – I was going to get to know him without focusing on his age and all this while he was keeping his beards and looked waaaay older then he actually was and I went to God again for like the 1 millionth time for ‘confirmation’ because the ‘old man’ was constantly in my face.

“Lord, It’s bad enough he has this grey hair, and then beards??? Please Lord, Let him decide to cut his beards without me saying anything about it”

It may sound silly but God listened and boom! One morning, He sends me a picture of himself looking 1o times younger. I almost flipped!!!! You mean you have been hiding all these handsomeness under those beards? Yepa!! I tripped some more because God was once again giving me another confirmation.

My final confirmation was my folks approval. I love them so much and their opinion matters a great deal to me, I had stopped seeing someone in the past because my mum wasn’t approving of it, although she will say “I didn’t chase him away oh” but once I sensed her disapproval, I just switched off. Call me old school but I am one of those people that firmly believes in parental approval of your future spouse especially when your parents are led my the Holy Spirit and if they disapprove and God is in it, Trust God will make it happen HIS way. Over the years I noticed my mum has come to trust my judgement or more like she has come to trust the God in me which I am grateful for. They asked all the necessary questions but when I mentioned the age part the sigh was different but I guess all the doubts – if they had any – was diffused when they met him.

ALL OF THESE HAPPENED IN THE 4 MONTHS!!!!!!!! I CAN NEVER GET OVER THAT!!! Now, Back to people that tell you that “The Age difference is not a big deal”

It. is. a. Lie.

I know God will bring you together and ALL but I now started learning that I had to work.

Next and final Episode, I will share how he proposed and how I learnt to work it.




  1. ayomi says:

    My Lulu…gradually…she’s telling the story…I dunno if I should be commenting sef but I’m glad you are the woman you are today and I know God still has better things in store for you. Nice one dear.

    1. arike says:

      Ayomi oooo!!!! Yes o, gradually telling the story 😀 Thank you for all you do my loveeee!!!! :*

  2. Lola says:

    Hmmm I’m loving this. When I saw the court wedding picture and his hair was cut, I was like “what? Deji cut his hair? My friend is amazing! ”

    God bless you, love. You’re a wonderful person :*

    1. arike says:

      LOL… Yes oh! God is amazing. That one cutting I did not like sha. LOL

  3. Missy Tee says:

    4 months????? Wow. Come on Tomi. The suspense is three much…hurry up Mrs. yay! sounds so good to calling you Mrs!

    1. arike says:

      Hehehehe!!! Yes oh. I will write soonest again. 😉

  4. Miss says:

    Awwww, this is beautiful. Don’t keep us on the edge for too long. I’m enjoying this.

    1. arike says:

      😀 Ya making me to blushing too mulsh! I won’t 😉 Thanks my portable!! :p

  5. Walay says:

    Nice read. Patiently waiting for the next ‘episode’. Kudos

    1. arike says:

      Thank you Waley!!

  6. juliet morgan says:

    Tomi it happened both ways. We also prayed for God to send you his way. The journey of being mrs O is a great read. Was at peace when I met you. Yes deji it is possible to be beautiful, tongue speaking, demon chasing and fabulous all at once. GOD brought you guys together. Love u both

    1. arike says:

      Awwwww Juliet! Thank you sooo much!!! Love you toooo

  7. Ok, Mrs O, you already know my response to this post, I went bonkers and went on maximum sharing everywhere! Lol.
    Waiting for the next.
    Keep shining the light..the world needs to know that yes, God still orchestrates His kids physical marriages on earth.

    I pray that you guys light will continually shine, that men will continually look to you when they need to see homes and families rooted in God, in Jesus name, amen.

    1. arike says:

      hahahah! Frances oh! Ammeenn! Thanks dear, I saw your sharing effect. Lol

  8. adetola says:

    Good one dear….. Have fun being MrsO.

    1. arike says:

      Thanks dear

  9. @ilola says:

    But the guy doesn’t look his age o, you know that. The way you painted his here like a Methuselah, ees nor fear o.

    Anything for the Boys?

    1. arike says:

      LOL. Haba naaa. x_x

  10. tamie says:

    Sweet sweet! Third serving please… : )

    1. arike says:

      Yep! Sooon and very soon.

  11. Lilmelicious says:

    Oh wow. This is so awesome. I need to face God more in choosing my partner. His words are final. He works in wonderous ways. Thanks Tomi for this share. Can’t wait for the next episode

    1. arike says:

      Thank you so much mel. I am so glad you’ve come to the realisation. I pray that the Lord will continue to lead you in his path and his perfect will for your life will be established.

  12. Nikkisho says:

    I was smiling as I read this sha…so sweet and I like the way you handled things. Waiting on the next one 🙂

  13. Catherine says:

    Four Months!!!! Nepa ti mu ina lo! your pen is out of ink, ehn your hands are busy pounding yam!!! Oya I’ve waited in an air conditioned room, I almost froze, I’ve waited in the sun, orun ti fe pami, I’m waiting in the rain, I’m drenched but nothing spoil, I’m alive and I’m waiting!!!! Nice one darling… Anxiously waiting🙅🙇🙏

    1. arike says:

      Lol. I don’t understand ooo.

  14. Inthe says:

    lol…. I find that age gap quite sexy.

    1. arike says:

      Really? Hmmm….

  15. Ike Amadi says:

    Lovely. God bless your union.

  16. Rhapsody says:

    It is what it is
    I am glad you got the affirmations you required.
    All the best to you my sistah.


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